My first golden shower.



I’ve never been a big one for that kind of kink but I broke new ground last night.

I have cried and cried and cried beyond the point where logic says there should be anything left in my tear ducts. Right now someone is curled up on my lap with her head down sleeping. I go back and forth, really. One minute life is pretty normal and then another I am simply beside myself.

After a day at the vet getting fluids Anna was doing much better. Not great, just better.

As I said on Monday I kind of knew she was going downhill but it’s been a very rapid descent. The doctor showed me how I could administer fluids myself and then I bought her home and spent time cleaning her face (eyes, chin and crusted over nose) as well as her paws.

I managed to get her set up on a pillow on a chair in a favorite spot where she could lie in the sun and be warm and content. She purred away as I stroked her. Later on I bought her downstairs with me to bed. She‘s been sick awhile and confined to one room in the house and I had forgotten how much I loved having her curl up next to me at night. I put her under the covers and she immediately drifted off, purring herself to sleep.

An hour or two later she made a half hearted attempt to get out of bed and suddenly there was something warm happening. So, I got my first golden shower via my kitty. I stripped the bed down and bought her back upstairs, put her on her pillow and made sure she was comfortable. If you think I was at all upset, well I wasn’t upset at all because right now it’s all about her and her comfort.

Yeah, the mattress pad is getting thrown out but I don’t care. I just want her to be happy and enjoy what little time she has left to her. She is staggering around the house, she’s fallen over her back a few times (not from a height just trying to make her way around). It’s horrible but, there are moments when she is one my lap nice and warm and I am petting her and she is genuinely happy. I was going to go out today and when I started to make preparations to get ready she was all on top of me, standing on her back legs, demanding to be petted and wanting to be picked up.

And really... my heart is breaking and I cry some more. I am this brutish guy and this fuzzy little animal (the furthest thing away from what would be considered a man‘s pet) is my world. She has been the most wonderful companion and I hate having to face something like this again. I went through this when I had a cat as a teenager (she passed when I was in my early 20s) and I didn’t have another pet until Madame X bought little Anna into my life.

Who knew she would be able to make her way so deeply into my heart.